"You Can't Be Serious! Talking to a 'shrink' to change pain levels"? That was me, over twenty years ago when I first began my journey with chronic pain. Through a thirteen year period I had some sixteen surgeries for seven different work related injuries. I am thankful as I realize there are many folks out there far worse than I. Here goes;

In the beginning, for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do. I began self-medicating by means of shear inner determination, occasional pain meds when the Dr's believed me and alcohol somewhat masked my physical limitations in helping me with "painted smiles and laughter". I was extremely careful not to expose any weakness, i.e. the accompanying mental hurdles which were the toughest to control.

I could not allow anyone to perceive my character and pride was an insufficient tool to overcome any obstacle within my life. I FOUGHT hard from deep within to portray still being "me" all the while trying to regain that part of "me" I thought I had lost because of not being able to do what I used to!! As a rule, I didn't much care for head doctors – still don't, except for one. By the grace of GOD I found a bit more strength and reluctantly, spoke with Dr. Schwager.

I'll never forget, the office was arranged in the good'ol traditional manner, which wasn't so good for me. All of a sudden I was sitting a few feet away from another man, Dr. Schwager, in an attempt of seeking this so-called mental help. We began discussing my perception of personal failure and weakness as this is what I brought to the table. This man then sees my tears. I'm thinking "What the hell's happening here"? That was my start. Face to face was the most difficult and humiliating and embarrassing thing I could ever imagine, and it was the very thing that kept me self-medicated for so long. I had NEVER spoken of this inner turmoil, not even to my then-first wife. "The man was the backbone of the family, hurt or not, end of story".

That first visit still bothers me more than any other I've experienced. In my opinion Dr. Schwager is a true professional and good man; otherwise I would have never have faced him again. I'm still unsure how he helped me find the strength to continue, but I have.

I had many reservations when Dr. Schwager relocated and this new fangled thing called "tele-behavioral-med" was being implemented. I grew quite accustomed to the entire concept and its infinite possibilities almost immediately! I honestly feel had tele-medicine been available at the beginning of my twenty year story of pain and unhappiness, I would have sought help much sooner!

I am certain there is a vast array of people who would otherwise not seek these services to enrich their lives due to the same reasons I avoided it for so long. Tele-Behavioral-Medicine IS the alternative for many different reasons. Maintenance of pride, personal space and integrity being at the top of my list, to mention but a few.

Whoever you are out there, if you've read this you're reading it for a reason. Please don't wait any longer, you owe it to yourself. Thank You Dr. Schwager for your continued efforts.

Respectfully,
Movin Forward in AZ.